Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Starting Over

This picture captures why I must soldier on...

(taken from FB, NOT Prophecy!)

Welcome home Bold Prophecy...After a much longer transport than anticipated, you arrived just after midnight!  A brief time of stretching and munching some grass and then I put him up in a stall for the night with hay and water.  Most of the pictures I took do not do him justice due to the lighting so here is the best one :)

Other than just wound up from a long ride, he seemed no worse for wear.  He is at a very good weight (might rival Dragon for the "Pork Chop" nickname Deb!), his legs felt good (no stocking up or heat), and he was eating, drinking and such like a champ.

He will get a chance to stretch and relax a few days, and then we will begin.  He's got a great base under saddle with a trainer and the previous owner, but I am going back to basics for the relationship/bond. While he is "bred for endurance", we are going to take it slow and see where we end up. I'm hoping to get to rides this fall and drag ride/volunteer to get him used to the commotion, likely waiting on an actual completion ride till 2017.

Overall, the past week/end has been a roller-coaster of emotions... First, a surprise set of fabric prints of pictures of my boys came with my order from Equi-Royals to put on a quilt or pillow.  Then, I received the bracelet I ordered made from Tesla's tail hair on Thursday.

And together on me constantly....

Friday I also received a letter that our vet who treated Tesla 2x that day before moving us to the emergency clinic had sent a donation into Cornell's College of Veterinary Medicine in his name.

 And throughout the week I was working on cleaning tack anticipating the arrival of Prophecy.

Cleaned and headed back to the barn
This weekend on Facebook also saw many "On this day" memories of riding my boys over the years... I miss them deeply in different ways. I hope to form a bond quickly with Prophecy and tackle the endeavors of a long future together.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Moving forward

Earlier this week was the first time I've returned to the barn in the month since losing Tesla.  I decided to work towards something and keep making my modifications to the trailer LQ area. I made some progress on the hard to deal with curved areas. I plan to take advantage of the rainy weather (AGAIN!) this weekend to hopefully finish up all the curves, then move on to the other walls and putting the new floor in (which requires lots of reorganizing and moving stuff out to accomplish). I have a new mattress picked out (removed the old one that came with it), just waiting till I actually will be camping a bunch again to purchase. I can make do on the mattress topper a while yet.

I also finally put on the riding pants that arrived right before we were due to be at No Frills. I added some color to my attire with green & blue, but not so much that I'd be self conscious :)

And one announcement....
Going against previous statements and convictions, I am getting myself a new partner, sight unseen. Sort of.

Enter "Bold Prophecy" (Summer Saga x Autumn Kismet).  A 2008 Liver Chestnut Gelding Bred by Jennifer Whittaker at Mystic Rose Arabians in Memphis, TN.  Jennifer got me thinking about endurance with Traveler way back in 2009.  Through the old yahoo groups I found her to board with when we moved from MI.  My big old paint was a standout in her pastures, but her horses changed my mind about Arabs.  I've dreamed of a Saga baby someday.  I knew Dragon and Prophecy as youngsters while boarding there, and have watched them from afar. Dragon has found his home with another GreenBean, and I found Prophecy was up for sale after a change of hands over the last few years, now located outside of Nashville. After much talking with Jennifer, the current owner, and the trainer that had him for 60days earlier this year, all lead to that he & I will be a good match.  A playful type, as well as a level headed and bold guy.  Today was his vet check to ensure his current health and leg condition would be good for making a solid 50mile horse someday... after we get sorted through the health certificate and update to vaccines, next stop is Central VA for this guy!

With the trainer

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Picking up the pieces

I've had a good few weeks. A small funk on Sunday as while I was joyful in reading all about my friends at Biltmore and seeing pictures of the ride, it hit me again... We were supposed to be there.

I love my husband and kids and live for them, but feel like I've lost a piece of my soul. Riding, working with my horse, getting the small wins, being "one", feeling the wind, surveying the trails... It is really hard to explain, but my fellow horse friends understand that intangible and indescribable thing I am talking about. Even not to ride for endurance and have distance goals in mind, but just to be riding a horse you love...

The painting of Traveler hanging
I have decided that I want to put a painting of Tesla on the same wall that holds Traveler's. Doug had a painting made for my birthday years ago (well before I lost him) that hangs in our TV area downstairs.  So now I find myself studying pictures of Tesla and searching for that perfect one that captures his essence.  His playful nature, his kind eye, his majestic stance and movement. I smile at them and I watch the videos...in awe of his beauty and grateful for the time I had with him.

In the spirit of rising from the ashes (FB quiz told me I'm a Phoenix), I have been pursuing a gelding of interest as my next partner. The vet check was supposed to happen Tuesday afternoon, but a cluster of events forced us to reschedule and it is now scheduled for Thursday the 19th.  Another week to wait and see!  I'm hopeful, I don't have any reason to believe he won't pass vetting, but I have to be sure.

Monday, May 2, 2016

2 weeks gone by

And not a day goes by that I don't think about what happened... I hate dwelling on that last few hours and the begging and praying I did in my head for him to hang on when he looked at me at the ER Clinic. Then I flashback to those last few hours with Traveler and the struggle on the mountain, remembering his will to move for only me.

I've changed my desktop at work so I don't see all the pictures rotating by, but I can't help but look through them anyway and wonder...wonder Why? How?  We were just getting started, making it back into the swing of things to get ready for a year ahead of getting better together, moving up to endurance distances. We'd conquered many of our issues, I so looked forward to riding him in fun challenges, training rides and lessons.

I've got an amazing husband, let alone family and friends with shoulders to cry on. And I have many times this past few weeks, as well as hiding and crying in silence. Many giving various words of encouragement and commiserate screaming about the shit side of horse ownership. I 'know' it doesn't matter if a horse is free or cost $1M, because both these types of loss could happen to anyone anytime, but it doesn't help the feeling....  I did everything I could for him to keep him pain free, happy and healthy. But somehow I failed.

So while I sit here working to do a pre-purchase exam on a horse from afar, I challenge myself if I am ready for it again.  I haven't been near a horse since that day when I returned to check my hay and feed for any reason he could have gotten sick.  I long for the smell of hay... for that 'horse' scent of his I find on my barn jacket and his blankets, now sitting in a bin at home.  I long to look forward to the issue of the day working with him, celebrating small wins, enjoying the trails together - ears forward trotting on by.  Grooming and braiding his mane to cool him in the summer. Massaging him...knowing every bump on his body.

A massage at 'lunch' on our training ride back in Feb

So what does all this mean?  I need the bond...I know it can result in heartache, but I would not be happy with "just riding" someone else's horse.   So I begin my search again...the heart knows, and my guardian angels will be watching over me and guiding me in my dreams.